OK here we go, a little known fact to a lot of people out there Ambulance Folk DO have feelings! That is Official.
“Wow, Really” you say! and that people is the sad part of my job. We can be expected to work hour after hour shift after shift seeing the saddest and happiest moments in people’s lives without even a thought for our selves.
When I say ambulance people I am also including the wider community of ambulance folk from the Patient transport Service, Community First Responders (CFR), Paramedic Emergency Service and Control Staff , although I am still not sure if Control have any emotion! No I didn’t mean that guys I need an on time finish
Why am I writing this post? Two fold really, firstly because I want to highlight to the wider community that the work we do in this “Essential Service” (Yes have a look we are still NOTÂ considered an emergency service) has a massive impact on the emotional state of mind. Secondly and possibly more importantly to me, is that blogging about all this helps me deal with it.
We all have different coping mechanisms. In the Emergency world it is probably best to have a morbid and dark sense of humour to help you through the things you will see. Â It is not uncommon to talk through jobs in the mess room, this helps people categorise and deal with the days trauma.
In the big wide ugly world people experience these as emotions, these are the way we react to things either by crying, being angry, depressed, surprised, lonely, disgusted along with the physical reactions like vomiting and guess what world? We experience these too!
Recently I have probably had some of the worst few weeks of my life, the jobs that have been given and the difficulties of dealing with these. I have questioned life in general, what is it all about? I may have even had a crisis of confidence due to what I have seen. Now this is what we are expected to deal with. The problem is how do you move on?
I will tell you it is hard, in the Ambulance Service (in the UK and World Wide) we have to deal with this on a daily, weekly basis.
One of the hardest things I have done is to try to handover to the consultant in charge of the resuscitation room in A&E when dealing with a Paediatric Cardiac Arrest. I am not ashamed to say it is almost impossible when you are full of every emotion life has to throw at you. Yes we do cry and I did whilst handing over, You do with all the raw emotions and the adrenaline running through your veins not to mention the emotional scarring of hearing the primordial scream of parents at the realisation and reality of the situation of what has just happened.
People these things take their toll. Most people in this world will not have to deal with it ever, this is because there is a small and i do mean small number of people who do this job people who take on this responsibility whether we really know what we are taking on or not but not many leave this job through job dissatisfaction.
One thing I think that has happened to me is that this job has changed me (hopefully for the better) over time. I do appreciate life more and have found that you have to stand up to life and take what it offers. Things can change in a second and I would like to look back and NOT regret anything. I don’t want to think that I missed out on something because I was Scared and that I did not confront this fear and do it anyway, I want to say I did something regardless of the risk of the unknown because I have come to realise this is LIFE andÂ just live it.