- Posted in Police Blog
The Station Sergeant ….... is feeling festive.
By popular acclaim, I am
delighted to bring you another selection of Christmas carols rewritten to
celebrate the whacky world of policing in 2010...
Good King Gazza
Good King Gazza last
looked out,
(He used to be like
Rooney*)
Cops with guns all stood
about,
Pointing at a loony.
Gazza sank so much that
night,
Normal men would sicken,
He could sort out
Moaty's head,
With lager, bread and
chicken.
'I've brought my rods
and dressing gown,
A six pack and some slippers,
My mate Moaty needs to
fish,
We can catch some
kippers'.
'Gazza go and sling your
hook',
Said a passing copper.
'You're not really
bullet-proof,
You're bound to come a
cropper'.
*Good poetry doesn't
have to make sense, it just has to rhyme.
Trust me.
O Come All Ye
Students
O Come All Ye Students,
Stroppy teenage wasters,
Anarchists, lecturers
and Rentatrot,
Come and protest now,
Shout and wave your
placards,
No ifs, no buts, just
kettles,
No ifs, no buts, just
kettles,
No ifs, no buts, just kettles,
and rising fees.
See how the Lefties
Summon up a riot,
Trashing and burning and
running amok.
We too shall thither
Take our water cannon.
Oh come let's soak the
halfwits,
Oh come let's soak the
halfwits,
Oh come let's soak the
halfwits,they need a bath.
We Wish That We
Had More Money
We wish that we had more
money,
The cuts mean it's just
not funny,
We wish that we had more
money,
To sort out your mess.
More confidence we
bring,
To you and your kin,
We wish that we had more
money,
Not 25% less.
We all want a proper
pension,
That's really worth a
mention,
We all want a proper
pension,
For when we retire.
More policing we do,
For you and your crew,
We wish that we had more
money,
To get you out of the
mire.
We can't strike cos it's
unlawful,
So they just treat us
something awful,
We can't strike cos it's
unlawful
So they treat us like
dirt.
You'd miss us it's
clear,
If we were not here,
So give us a decent
budget
Before someone gets
hurt.
Ding Dong Merrily
on High
Ding Dong Merrily on
High,
The ministers are
flailing.
Ken Clark wants
prisoners let out,
Imelda wants them
jailing.
Glooooooooooooria, the
jails are overflowing.
Glooooooooooooria, where
will the crims be going?
Away With New
Labour
Away with New Labour,
The Princess has lost,
Booted out at the
election,
But at what kind of
cost?
The new lot has no
money,
It has all been spent,
We'll be working from a
stable,
With no dosh for the
rent.
The old lot were
rubbish,
Control freaks we hate
But is this lot any
better?
I think I'll emigrate.
West
Midlands Don't Rejoice
West Midlands
don't rejoi-oi-oice,
You haven't got
a choi-oi-oice.
The colour of
your undies,
Is subject now
to scrutiny,
On Saturdays
and Sundies,
You're getting
close to mutiny,
No thongs,
briefs or mankinis,
Can Brummie
cops display.
I would like to
wish all police officers and staff a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. If you're working, stay safe.
